How to Receive Feedback Gracefully

Want to get better at your job? Learning to take feedback well is super important. It's not just about hearing what people say. It’s about really listening, understanding, and using it to grow. This is how to get good at taking feedback, focusing on talking, thinking you can improve, and knowing yourself.

Why Taking Feedback Well Matters

They say feedback is the "breakfast of champions." It shows you what you're good at and what you need to work on. When you use it right, feedback helps you get better. But a lot of people don't like getting feedback. They get defensive. This can stop you from growing and hurt your relationships.

Here's why you need to be good at getting feedback:

• Learn Faster: Feedback shows you what you're good at and what you're not, helping you focus on what matters.
• Do Better Work: If you listen to feedback, you can get better at what you do.
• Have Better Relationships: Being open to feedback makes people trust you.
• Know Yourself Better: Feedback helps you see yourself as others see you.
• Get Ahead at Work: People who use feedback are more likely to get promoted.

Start Here: Know Yourself and Think You Can Grow

Before we talk about how to take feedback, let's talk about knowing yourself and believing you can get better. These things are connected and help you react to feedback the right way.

Know Yourself

Self-awareness means knowing your feelings, what you're good at, what you're bad at, and what matters to you. It helps you understand how you affect others and make good choices. It takes time and honesty to know yourself.

How can you know yourself better?

1. Be Mindful: Try things like meditation to notice your thoughts and feelings.
2. Ask for Feedback: Ask people you trust for feedback.
3. Think About What Happens: Think about good and bad times and what you did right or wrong.
4. Write in a Journal: Writing can help you understand your thoughts and feelings.
5. Take Personality Tests: Tests like Myers-Briggs can tell you about yourself.

Think You Can Grow

Having a growth mindset means believing you can get smarter and better if you try. People with this mindset like challenges and don't give up easily. They see failure as a chance to learn.

On the other hand, a fixed mindset is thinking you can't change. People with this mindset avoid challenges and give up when things get hard.

How to have a growth mindset?

• Like Challenges: See challenges as a way to learn.
• Don't Give Up: Learn from your mistakes and keep going.
• Value Effort: Focus on learning, not just getting good grades.
• Learn from Criticism: Use criticism to get better.
• Get Inspired by Others: Look at successful people and let them motivate you.

How to Take Feedback Well: Strategies

Now that you know about self-awareness and growth mindset, let's talk about taking feedback well.

1. Get Ready in Your Head

Before you get feedback, tell yourself it's to help you get better, not to attack you. Be open to learning.

Try these steps:

• Put Down Your Defenses: Decide to be open and not get defensive.
• Think Positive: Remember the person giving feedback wants you to do well.
• Imagine It Going Well: Picture yourself taking the feedback calmly and using it to get better.

2. Listen Carefully

Listening is key to taking feedback well. Pay attention to what the person says and how they say it. Show them you're listening.

How to listen well:

• Look Them in the Eye: Show you're paying attention.
• Nod and Say "Okay": Show you understand.
• Don't Interrupt: Let them finish talking.
• Ask Questions: If you don't understand something, ask about it. For example, "Can you tell me more about that?"
• Repeat What They Say: Say what you heard to make sure you understand. For example, "So, you're saying..."

3. Control Your Feelings

It's normal to feel something when you get feedback, especially if it's not good. But don't get angry or defensive. Take a breath and think before you talk.

How to control your feelings:

• Know Your Feelings: It's okay to feel upset, but don't let it control you.
• Take a Deep Breath: This can help you calm down.
• Wait Before Talking: Think about what you want to say before you say it.
• Don't Interrupt or Argue: Listen to them and try to understand.

4. Ask Questions and Get Examples

To really understand the feedback, ask questions and get examples. This will help you know what they mean and how to get better.

Questions you can ask:

• "Can you give me an example of when I did that?"
• "What would you have done differently?"
• "What can I do to get better at this?"
• "Where can I find help to learn this?"

5. Say Thank You

Saying thank you shows you appreciate the feedback. Even if you don't agree, thank them for sharing their thoughts.

How to say thank you:

• "Thank you for giving me this feedback. I appreciate your honesty."
• "I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me."
• "This feedback is helpful, and I'll think about it."

6. Focus on Understanding, Not Arguing

Don't try to defend yourself or make excuses. Focus on understanding the feedback and learning from it.

How to focus on understanding:

• Listen Carefully: Pay attention and try to understand their point of view.
• Ask Questions: Make sure you understand the feedback.
• Repeat What They Say: Show you understand by repeating what they said.
• Don't Interrupt or Argue: Just listen.

7. Make a Plan

After you get the feedback, make a plan to fix the problems. This shows you're serious about getting better.

How to make a plan:

• Set Goals: Make goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).
• Write Down Steps: Write down what you need to do to reach your goals.
• Set a Timeline: Decide when you will do each step.
• Find Resources: Find any help you need.
• Track Your Progress: Check your progress often.

8. Follow Up and Keep Asking for Feedback

After you make your plan, talk to the person who gave you feedback. Tell them what you've done and ask for more feedback. This shows you care about their opinion and want to keep improving.

Ask these questions:

• "Have you seen me get better at this?"
• "Where else can I improve?"
• "Do you have any other advice for me?"

Talking Helps: The Role of Communication

Good communication is very important. If the person giving feedback is clear, and the person getting feedback listens well, it helps everyone understand and make changes. Problems happen when people aren't clear or make assumptions. So, both people should be honest and specific.

What to think about when communicating:

• The Giver's Job: Give feedback clearly, kindly, and helpfully. Talk about specific things they did, not just their personality.
• The Receiver's Job: Listen, ask questions, and say thank you. Don't get defensive.
• Body Language: Watch your body language and how you talk. Look them in the eye, don't cross your arms, and talk calmly.

In Conclusion: Feedback is a Good Thing

Learning how to take feedback well is a must for getting better at your job. If you know yourself, believe you can grow, and talk well, you can turn feedback into a tool for getting better. See feedback as a chance to learn and grow in your career. It's not about being perfect. It's about always trying to be better.

By using these tips, you'll not only do better work but also build trust and open communication at your job. Getting better at your job is a journey, and taking feedback well is a big step on that journey.